the eternal dance

several nights ago i went to the Whitebird dance presentation of Pilobolus (, a dance troupe from conneticut, renown for its incredible acrobatic whimsy, strength and contemporary interpretations of classical dance questions (and remember that writing about dance is like dancing about architecture). i knew that i wanted to bring julia to see them and thought there was no real possibility of it selling out… of course this wasn’t a full formed thought: that seat capacity for Schnitzer dance hall would want to attend, because, of course, it was all sold out by the time i called on the day of the event. so half an hour before the performance i went down there to try and find some tickets on the real market of human individuals showing up with extras. to this sally into the darker marketplace i did not attach any real desire or assumption as to a conclusion. i did find, however, that there were around 40 other individuals doing the same as i under the lights in front of the theater: people with signs, others holding up an index finger, and some exercising their voices, incanting what they would pay and to whom, etcetera. a faint shroud of doubt passed before my mind at this point as it did not seem likely that such a number of tickets would turn over in that grey realm between box office ticket and EVENT. nonetheless i quickly dispelled that doubt and embraced the observations of an exciting play between those with desires and those with assets. (during this observation i realized that in the moments of now upon now, there was no difference between where i was and somewhere i was not, in the theater for instance… and that as long as that was true, i was in the best possible place… i therefore became very happy–and we all know that happiness comes from good work.) so i found myself in the midst of a fervent and gay marketplace, a marketplace of equable desire. i watched a couple thousand dollars cash transact right there over the sale of tickets to the dance performance and EVERY dollar spent was done so with pure bliss, like there were no difference between giving and receiving… and i saw how hopefully people were attending this dance troupe and how nicely they treated each other, hugging perfect strangers, smiling, shouting with glee… all under the fast palpitation of the several-thousand light play of the building’s own assumption of what was about to take place. all temporal thought left my mind and i was subsumed into the joyous encounter of one human being with another, reveling in nothing other than the bliss of existing. my ecstasy left no room for doubt or for jealousy of others’ good fortune. i prepared to be encountered by someone who wanted to sell ME a ticket. i reached into my pocket and pulled forth my wallet and realized that i had only $18… and i had been watching for the last twenty minutes tickets selling from $35-$100 per ticket. so i made a simple statement to the universe: i would love two tickets and i can’t spend more than $18. within thirty seconds of this thought a woman showed up at the curb holding two tickets in her hand, and her arm pointed at me, out of the whole crowd, like the needle of a compass points north… it did not waiver at all, and with a bright face she exclaimed, “I HAVE TWO TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY.” i almost wept. i know there are some of you who love science so much you might tell me this is luck, but there’s no convincing a lover that he’s not in love. the amazing thing about my request is that, several minutes later–after i had hugged this woman and told her she was facilitating magic–a man in a nice suit approached me, still one among many, and handed me two more tickets saying he’d been given them and didn’t want to sell them. so i took them and in turn gave them away, only multiplying my extreme state of wonder, as though a very potent entity had heard me and said, “here.” and that the numbers 2 or 4 or 60 mean little to this entity, all the leaves of fall or all the gold in fort knox are but a sneeze. ask and ye shall receive.

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