homeless

i woke up this morning with a funny taste in my mouth, then someone began knocking on my door. i figured it would stop and the person would go away, but again, ten minutes later, more knocking. it was a homeless guy who i’d helped out last night and he’d made a home of the backyard for the evening. i told him in somewhat gruff terms that it is not OK that he followed me to my residence and clandestinely made camp in the backyard, despite the clear deplorable fact of his homelessness. that was not in dispute. then he asked if i could help him out again. i realized that i had not helped him out at all by giving him money the night before, but rather had created a kind of crutch, a very temporary one. i told him that life was quotidian but that it is also important to think a little about the future: like where you’re going to sleep the coming nights, or more specifically, where you’re not going to sleep. at least plan those things out. it made me feel sad and confused and and now it’s time to re-orientat to the problem.